A Limerick a Day Keeps the Doctor Away?
by DeadPigeon
Summary: All Limericks found herein will be about about any Doctor, Companion, Villain or Story found in the entire Doctor Who Universe. Enjoy!
1. The 12th Doctor

**The 12****th**** Doctor**

There is an old man called The Doctor,

Who fancies himself quite the proctor.

So you better not curse,

He might scold you, or worse…

Regenerate as Malcolm Tucker!

* * *

_Authors note: If you don't know who Malcolm Tucker is, please watch Capaldi in action on You Tube to get the reference._


	2. Darlig Ulv Stranden

**Darlig Ulv Stranden**

There once was a place, Bad Wolf Bay.

He called her to meet one last day.

Her love was professed;

He could not digress,

But was left with no time to say…


	3. River Song

**River Song**

There once was a doctor named Song.

Imprisoned for what she'd done wrong.

She was charged with the crime,

_~Killing the Lord of Time~_

But he was alive all along!


	4. Alfie

**Alfie**

He once was called Stormageddon,

And acted like Armageddon.

Not Mom was his Dad,

He cried until fed.

All hail the Dark Lord of Aeons!


	5. The 4th Doctor

**The 4****th**** Doctor**

There once was a Time Lord called Thete

Who dressed like a famous aesthete.

Oscar Wide was his muse

So do not be confused

By his scarf, his hat and his coat.


	6. Weeping Angels

**Weeping Angels**

See the beautiful angels of stone

Gracing gardens and buildings, alone.

Please don't look away!

You're nothing but prey;

In the blink of an eye you'll be gone!


	7. K9

**K9**

There once was a dog with a blaster

Who rolled around saying "_Yes Master"._

And I just have to say,

That we all hoped one day,

He might roll a little bit faster!


	8. K9 Revisited

**K9 Revisited**

There once was a dog of tin.

Who killed some Bats, for the win!

He tried his best.

But died like the rest.

He really was Man's Best Friend!


	9. The Professor

**The Professor**

There once was a man called The Doctor

Who Ace always called the Professor

He made quite the fellah,

(with his odd umbrella)

And acted just like a court jester!


	10. Romana

**Romana**

There once was a lady called Romanadvoratrelundar

Who regenerated and took the face of another

And then in real life

She became his wife

So technically, she's the Doctor's wife long before River!


	11. John Smith

**John Smith**

There once was a Doctor named Smith,

That U.N.I.T. coerced to work with.

His clothing was dandy,

And Bessie was handy,

While living in exile on earth.


	12. John Smith Revisited

**John Smith Revisited**

There once was a teacher called Smith,

Who Martha Jones had to hide with.

She kept him alive,

(from rule number five)

And from his gold watch full of pith.


	13. The Sonic Screwdriver

**The Sonic Screwdriver**

There once was a man and his sonics

Who hid all his tools in his pockets

He told her, "Be careful!"

That it was a symbol…

My God! It looks just like a phallus!


	14. The Anonymous Guest

_Authors note: Dear **Guest, **thank you for reading my posts. I realize from your **reviews** that you want a limerick for Clara Oswald, but after your third **kind **request, this limerick seemed more appropriate. No offence intended, but as your favorite character would so succinctly say...**"****Seriously?"**_

* * *

**The Anonymous Guest**

There once was a "guest" who was rude

And all kinds of language ensued.

They demanded a rhyme

Without taking the time

To say thanks!...It leaves me bemused!


	15. The First Doctor

**The First Doctor**

There once was a man from Gallifrey

Who stole a Tardis and ran away

He hid for a while

Amidst a junkpile

A dour fugitive so young and grey!


	16. The 6th Doctor

**The 6****th**** Doctor**

There once was a pompous ass

Who left us all quite aghast.

He dressed like a clown

And smiled upside down…

We all prayed it would not last!


	17. Perpugilliam Brown

**Perpugilliam Brown**

There once was a girl named Peri

Who really was very scary.

Her voice was too high

And I thought I might cry

Every time her accent went wonky!


	18. Rory Williams

**Rory Williams**

There once was a fellah named Rory

Pivotal to the grandest story

He loved her more than life

Demanded, "Where's my wife!"

Oh, to be loved as he loved Amy!


	19. Turlough

**Turlough**

There once was a boy called Turlough,

Who filled us full of dread and woe.

He bargained a deal,

But refused to kill,

And became an anti-hero!


	20. Danny Pink

**Danny Pink**

There once was a maths teacher named Danny,

That the Doctor took to calling P.E.

He'd made the boy a soldier.

Who became Clara's lover,

But time-crossed lovers only end badly.


	21. Mummy On The Orient Express

**Mummy On The Orient Express**

There once was a mummy on a train,

And whomever it followed, death came.

"Aint no motherfuckin' mummy

Gonna' motherfuckin' kill me!"

Oops…got mixed up with Snakes on a Plane.


	22. Santa

**Santa**

There once was a man named Clause,

Who made Clara Oswald pause.

Because it was hard to tell

If he was a fairytale

Or the Doctor in disguise!


	23. Clara Oswin Oswald

**Clara Oswin Oswald**

There once was a girl so impossible,

Who had lived more lives than was probable.

But her fate was cast

To rescue the past

Of a man who was irreplaceable.


	24. Jack Harkness

**Jack Harkness**

There once was a Captain named Jack

Who had died but then he came back.

And we'd all like to know

If he was the face of Bo

The Doctor met in New New York.


	25. Madame de Pompadour

**Madame De Pompadour**

There once was a woman called Reinette,

Who was saved from a clockwork poppet.

Then she chose a star

To travel afar,

But she only had time for regret.


	26. Ian Chesterton

**Ian Chesterton**

There once was a man named Ian,

For whom I shall write a paean.

There's not much to tell,

He really was swell.

That's no good, let me try again?


	27. Ace

**Ace**

There once was a girl with a jacket,

Who ran around making a racket.

She tried to be hard,

And put up her guard,

But the Doctor, he saw right through it.


	28. Kill The Moon

**Kill The Moon**

There once was an old picaroon,

Who forsook his friend on the moon.

He made her decide,

Who lived and who died,

But they were the only ones hewn.


	29. The Master John Simm

**The Master/ John Simm**

There once was an actor named Simm,

Who brought to the role a new vim.

And it surprised us to learn,

That when the Master returned,

He would not be returning as him!


	30. The Master Roger Delgado

**The Master/ Roger Delgado**

There once was a man with a goatee,

Who worked with the Doctor named Pertwee.

Typecast as a villain,

He scared all the children

Much better than Anthony Ainley.


	31. Melody Pond

**Melody Pond**

There once was a girl named Melody,

Whose friendship was quite a rarity.

She grew up with her mom

And became River Song.

How's that for familiarity!


	32. The Husbands Of Rver Song

**The Husbands Of River Song**

There once was a man with a wife,

Whose antics caused him much strife.

But the head in a bag

Wasn't even a snag

In their twenty-four year love life!


	33. Strax

**Strax**

There once was a hero called Strax,

Who performed only selfless acts.

He could nurse you to health

And then choke you to death.

Damn, that Sontaran parallax!


	34. The God Complex

**The God Complex**

There once was a hotel detour,

Created for souls as a lure.

To discover belief

Is the cause of all grief

And denial the only cure!


End file.
